UPDATE: Cam Cameron Fired (Someone is listening to me. Coach Harbaugh? Ozzie Newsome?)

This just in, Cam Cameron was fired today as the offensive coordinator of the Baltimore Ravens.  This is probably the move that takes Baltimore all the way.  Now, I am no Ravens fan (Cardinals — and yes I realize how demoralizing that is currently after yesterday’s debacle).  But Cam Cameron has left a trail of 6, 7, 9 and 13 point efforts in his wake and this was long overdue.

Like I cited in my blog last year:

4 Reasons the Baltimore Ravens Won’t Win It All

Now, that just may change.  Were you reading my blog Coach Harbaugh?  Ozzie Newsome?  If you had done this last year, the blog title might have been, “4 Reasons the Ravens WILL win it all.”

Now maybe, it can be.

4 Reasons Every Kiss Does Not Begin with Kay

Kay Jewelers.  If you watch any TV whatsoever during the Holidays, their commercials are ubiquitous.  Their cheesy motto, “Every Kiss Begins With Kay” will be ringing in our collective ears until at least February.  Maybe March.

As a man about to get married (I have purchased my ring already, thank you very much) I was in the market for an engagement and wedding ring for quite a while, and I shopped ’til I dropped before I found the right combo.  I even stopped in at a Kay’s in two different cities.  Needless to say, I didn’t find anything even close to what I, and more importantly my fiance’, wanted.

So that experience, and my ringing/bleeding ears, lead me to this post as I am sitting with my bride to be, wondering why every time we turn on the TV, we believe more and more that every kiss does NOT begin with Kay.

1.  The commercials 

In one of their commercials, a man tells his wife during a storm “I’m right here.”   Potentially not — if she stops to carefully consider what kind of man would propose during a deadly storm.  And worse, proposes with a ring from Kay?  Who does this?  Who gets engaged in a storm?  Are the marketing geniuses at Kay so out of the loop that they’re willing to spend millions and millions of dollars convincing us that they’re the right jeweler to use if you’re going to potentially die?  This is a scenario where no one wins.  Well done, marketers.

2.  The Stores

Almost every single Kay Jewelers I have ever seen is in a mall.  I don’t think that Kay Jewelers exists outside of malls.  Now, I know most people across the US are addicted to mall shopping, but the truth to new commercial reality is this — mall shopping is on the decline.  Maybe they should think about going a little more indie — because those stores in those malls, are as anonymous as the Orange Julius vendor who’s been out of commission since 1983.

3.  The Jewelry

Speaking from experience, have you ever been in a Kay to actually look at the jewelry selection.  It’s inferior in every way.  Everything is super chintzy and made very cheaply.  The jewels themselves are anything but special — not the message you want to send to that extra special someone.

4.  The Slogan

Okay, WE GET IT.  We get the double entendre.  We get the catchy, first letter K similarity.  We get it all and we have for decades.  Unfortunately for Kay, that’s all we need to FLIP THE CHANNEL.  Or worse, turn the TV completely off.  That’s not the way to drive people into stores, to buy the jewelry, to propose immediately preceding death.

Every kiss does not begin with Kay.  Like my fruit and vegetables, I’m glad I bought my ring locally.

4 Reasons You Have To Travel More (a photo blog)

1.  Hawaii

2.  Poland

3.  Morocco

4.  Baker, California

 

 

4 Guys You Should Never Date — Commissioned Article

Ok.  Maybe this post looks deceiving.  No, I do not date guys.  But I’ve been asked by a friend to write a column/article about the 4 types of guys you should never date.  And since I fall into one of those categories, I agreed to do it.

Am I speculating?  Sure.  Is my opinion fallible?  100%.  But my sister, aunt, and a few of my female friends have dated guys like the following and each have avowed to me personally, passionately… Never again.

So here goes.  The 4 guys you should never date.

1.  The Gambler

This is the guy, and I am not talking about just the casino here, that is always in search of action.  He’s willing to risk most everything because the rush (or as Tom Sizemore says in Heat, “I’m in.  For me… The action IS the juice…”) is what he’s after.  The opening of the relationship will be loaded with spontaneous fun.  But after a while — the thrill is gone — and he will be too.

2.  The Pushover (that’s me)

This is the guy that always seems to say the right thing, do the right thing, and be the right guy.  He’s happy, courteous, and willing to do anything that you like (whether you’re in or out of the room, or relationship).  He’s the guy that you will start to resent after about 3 dates.  I know, that’s usually my limit.

3.  The Actor

I recently spent some time in Los Angeles, where it seems every semi-intelligent creature: man, woman, dog and cat, are trying to be professional performers.  The actor is a tough one.  While he will (hopefully) be creative and imaginative, he will most likely be broke.  And this career choice seems to come with a large helping of rejection — which absolutely saps the ego (or inflates it exponentially).  So what you end up with is a broke, self-doubting (or overcompensating) “artist” who always wants to run lines.  As they say in the industry… It’s gonna be a pass.

4.  The Next Door Neighbor

When I lived in Roanoke I absolutely fell in love with my next door neighbor Amanda.  She was a hairdresser (cut my hair for free!).  She had a great sense of humor.  And she liked me.  Until we couldn’t get away from one another.  Even when we wanted our alone time, we would see each other in the halls, the laundry room, the elevator, the roof… Yes, the roof).  We were either going to move in together, or never speak again.  It was the latter.

In my next installment, I’ll write about the 4 women you should never date.  This I know much more about… I think.