4 Ways to Become Famous on the Internet (AND BEYOND!!!)

Internet fame.  It’s what everybody wants.  In my vast and innumerable experiences in web researchology, I have found that there are 4 sure fire, iron clad, absolute guaranteed ways to get famous on the internet.  And as the title of the post suggests… Beyond.

1.  Get a weird cat.  Exploit it.

Hamilton the Hipster Cat.  Little Bub.  Colonel Meow.  They’re popular.  They’re cute.  They’ve got hundreds of thousands of Twitter followers.  They’re all the rage on the internet.  You can buy stickers with their likenesses on them.  Caps.  Coffee mugs.  Pens.  You can watch videos of them daily.  Cats like these have the lazy and greedy (or perhaps fortunate and cat loving) people of the world scrounging the shelters and adoption centers for interesting looking cats they can monetize on the web.  The formula is simple: get interesting cat, give it a goofy name, post pics… CASH IN!

Oh and let’s not forget the one who started it all (name withheld for legal reasons).

“I’m rich, bitches. Actually… My owners are.”

2.  Make a racist comment captured on video.  Video goes viral.  Apologize insincerely on video.

This one’s a little trickier.  You have to start with some level of public interest before you completely alienate everyone who thought you were righteous and cool.  If you try this and you’re not well known, people will just think you’re an idiot, and dismiss you as a tool (rightfully so).  But if you’re at least as famous as Riley Cooper, Michael Richards or Paula Deen — this is your ticket to uber-stardom.

Great usage of the obligatory ‘apologetic mouth cinch’ (should have kept it that way).

3.  Start a political scandal.

Weiner anyone???!!!

“It was just like this.”

4.  Two words: sex tape. 

“I want it all. No… I said — ALL!”

Fame.  It’s what you want.  Now get to it, plebes.