4 Reasons The Americans on FX blows

TV.  They say it is the Golden Age.  Shows like Game of Thrones, True Detectives, The Good Wife, Mad Men, Breaking Bad — they all have (or had) two things in common: they’re wildly popular and critical darlings.

I watched all of these shows.  Some of them were riveting, others were clearly made with quality and care by their creators.  They all honor their audiences, and that always brings me back for more.  In my — mind you, amateur — analysis, I’ve ascended to a level of discerning per my viewing habits and I like to think I have good taste.  Bottom line: I’m loyal.

If a show pushes me further and further off the ‘suspension of disbelief plank’, I will begrudgingly tiptoe to the edge and even drop and hang on from my fingernails if I feel as if the show has engendered some good will.  But, if the blatant disregard for audience believability shoves me over — I don’t swim back aboard to give the next episode just one more chance.  I sink.  And I disappear forever.

And recently, that is what has happened with The Americans.  Here are my 4 reasons that it frankly… Blows.

1.  Russian spies dressed as janitors don’t break into American army bases and kill people

If ever writers and/or show creators have asked people to just ‘go with it’ for the sake of “drama” — this would have to be one of those instances.  The episode, titled “Arpanet” had the lead character of Phillip dressed up as a janitor, break into a heavily guarded US Army base (one would assume Fort Meade, Myer or McNair) kill a man, then literally walk out of the base completely unimpeded AFTER a full base alert went into affect.  Um……… No.

2.  Main characters immediately do things that they earnestly claim to hate

In the first episode of Season 2, “Comrades”, at the 3:23 mark, Phillip speaks vulnerably, sympathetically even about hating “all of this killing”.  Then, within 90 seconds he whacks three people he is working WITH, walks into a kitchen and kills a young, innocent bus boy.  I’m quite certain this was not a situation where the writers and/or creators are exhibiting a character’s moral dilemma and inner conflict.  Because in the very next scene, Phillip walks into his beautiful home, kisses his hot wife, sits down and eats a huge meal.  That’s contentment — and it’s also crap.

3.  Characters change in and out of elaborate disguises in mere seconds (or apparently, nanoseconds)

This is a pervasive issue with The Americans.  At least 3 times during every single episode, a character will slip into an extremely elaborate disguise, perform some task where they are NEVER caught or recognized because their disguises are so incredible (and bulletproof mind you) to only then reappear at home with bags of groceries before their children notice they were even gone.  This is not dramatic or creative license, this is completely implausible in every way imaginable.  Have you ever tried to properly put on a wig or fake facial hair?  Apply a prosthetic?  According to the experts, it takes up to an hour and a half when including entire routine (shaving, cleaning).  And then to remove with zero noticeable evidence of it ever being worn — another hour (most of the time, showering or washing glue off, powder or make up removal).  And if that isn’t enough…

4.  They’re just plain lazy! 

Please see below.  In the final episode titled, “The Kids are Not All Right” I noticed something very troubling.  These photos were taken with my phone, and they took place in back to back scenes at the end of the final episode.

1.  Here is the entrance to the Jennings’ home — Elizabeth is coming in the front door.  Please notice the staircase, wall shape, door position (where handle is) and floor.

The Jennings’ foyer.

2.  Here is the entrance to the Beaman’s home — Stan (in mirror) is coming in the front door.  Please notice the staircase (exact same), wall shape (exact same), door position (exact same) and floor (exact same).

The Beaman’s foyer.

The only thing they changed was the mirror on the wall and the table underneath it.  And they added fake flowers in the Beaman’s home (unlikely, he’s separated).  That is all they did.  Even the lighting configuration (notice hot spots)  is the exact same.

THEY MOVED TWO THINGS AND SWAPPED ANOTHER.  That’s it.

Are you kidding me???  Really???  Is this not network TV???  It was at this moment I realized that we are in the middle of the Golden Age of TV.  With one exception…

The Americans.  If 1,2 or 3 didn’t leave you gasping for air — sinking to a watery grave, number 4 is the anchor around your leg.

Luckily, I’ve found dry land.  I’ve stopped watching.

 

4 Examples of “Fixing” — Commentary

If any of you out there read the news, you must have been exposed to several stories lately that involve questionable outcomes.  It seems that people inside of certain organizations, and/or intense media scrutiny, has opened our — the collective public’s –eyes to situations where “fixing” might have come into play.

Some would argue that fixing does not exist.  And I can understand that argument.  The need or want to always believe in the “experts” is an inherent human quality we call trust.  From one American to another, it’s as comfortable as apple pie.

But nowadays, I would caution we don’t let trust morph shapelessly into another embedded, American quality: naivete.

And with that I offer you 4 entries, that when looked at objectively, seem to be  clear cut examples of fixing.

1.  The 2000 Election

The results were in.

Never before in the short history of the United States has an election been decided by an appointed body.  Until 2000.  We’ve read all the books, seen all the movies, been privy and participated in all the discussions.  However you stack it up, the Supreme Court had a vested interest in who became president in the year 2000, because they had (and have) a vested interest in who appointed them to the Supreme Court.  They offered a one time ruling, that did not become law, and was not amendable.  That my friends, is called a fix.

2.  The Pacquiao/Bradley Decision

The winner: Timothy Bradley

Anyone who watched that fight saw it differently than the judges did.  It was even scored by analysts around the globe as a clear cut Pacquiao victory.  Yet when the decision was read, it was Bradley that got the decision.  Nothing against Bradley, he fought a courageous fight, but there was little doubt in my mind that he was not the victor.  Yet he garnered the split decision.  You couldn’t blame a person for letting their mind wander, “…an undefeated American fighter, on his native soil, less than 400 miles from where he grew up, who managed to stay on  his feet the entire fight…”.  Winner — Bradley.  I don’t think so.  Apparently, the stink raised was enough to launch a WBO investigation.  Don’t be surprised if an FBI probe follows.

3.  The Miss Universe Pageant

The picture of integrity.

Three different contestants claim that they saw a list that contained, in exact numerical order of finishing, the final 5 in the Miss Universe 2012 Pageant.  They independently corroborated the existence of the evidence and the order of final results.  Does anyone doubt that a beauty pageant could be fixed?  Now, the ramifications of this are certainly not as far reaching as example number one, or even the entry immediately preceding this one.  However, it’s an indication of how brazen and dismissable fixing has become in today’s society.  No one really doubts the pageant was fixed.  And no one really cares.  In regards to morality, that’s not a slippery slope — it’s a free fall.  Donald Trump, the man who happens to own and run the event, says it’s “ridiculous”.  Thank you, Mr Trump.  Why would we not trust thee?

4.  The NBA Draft Lottery

Acting purely for the betterment of… _________?

If good things come in threes, then commensurately bad things do as well.  And this may be the most obvious of choices for this list.  Think about this, in 1985, when the New York Knicks had merely a mediocre chance of winning the lottery, they managed to pull it out so they could select Patrick Ewing, widely regarded as the best center prospect to come out of college since Lew Alcindor.  In 2003, Cleveland, with slightly better odds, won the right to draft LeBron James — the greatest high school basketball star in the history of this country.  Who happened to live in Akron, 39 miles away from Cleveland.  And this year, a team that is owned by the league, the New Orleans Hornets… A team that had less than a 14% chance of winning the draft lottery… Did just that.  So, they are free to select Anthony Davis, another rare/can’t miss prospect that will put butts in seats and smiles on faces.  If defense is what wins championships, it’s also the first admission of guilt, and when NBA commissioner David Stern was recently questioned by Jin Rome about this strange circumstance, he retorted back, “Have you beaten you’re wife lately?”.  Not, “No comment”, or, “That’s ludicrous, next question”.  He replied, “Have you beaten your wife lately?”.  Classy, Mr Commissioner.  And in most any rationale person’s book — a blustery admission of guilt.

We’ve all heard the term, “Ignorance is bliss”.  Up until recently, I wasn’t so sure I agreed.  But as of today, I can’t help but think it’s true.  The aforementioned examples constituting only the tip of the iceberg in that respect.  Perhaps we should all take it a step further and stick our heads in the sound and just hope it all just goes away?

Soon enough… It will.