4 Reasons Jim Nantz Literally Sucks Out Loud

We’re in the midst of March Madness, and unfortunately CBS controls the rights to broadcast these games.  Now don’t get me wrong… CBS has a multitude of great commentators.  Verne Lundquist is phenomenal year after year.  Bill Raftery is very entertaining and knowledgable (especially about those East coast squads) and even former player Reggie Miller is decent.  Still bummed the always exciting Gus Johnson bailed.  He was college basketball’s best.

However, there is one announcer (and he happens to be CBS’ #1 guy on every damn sport they televise) that is always, always, ALWAYS terrible.  And that’s Jim Nantz.

You look adorable in that headset.

Here are 4 reasons (there are 4,000,000).

1. “As good as it gets”

In a series of lame attempts to derive a catch phrase, Nantz comes up with this truly limp effort.  As a movie title it was bad, as a sporting ‘button’ — it’s garbage.  The aforementioned Lundquist has the ubiqitious “Oh my goodness!” which is hoakey but heartfelt.  The great Keith jackson had “Whoa Nelly!” — truly original.  And the timeless Al Michaels had, “Do you believe in Miracles… YES!” a one time utterance that spawned this whole trend.  So Nantz comes with this unbelievably unimaginative, broad, lame catchphrase to cap the sporting events he covers.  I’ve heard it used at the checkout line at the grocery store more effectively.

2. He’s constantly wrong

Is he watching the same game as everyone else?  I know that he has a lot to cover over there at the table, but he’s consistently incorrect.  He misses the score at least three times a game.  He pumps meaningless stats that he thinks are important, and he continuously points out how clever he is with his ‘wordsmithery’.  Nails on a chalkboard sound like opera comparatively.

3. “Give him the Oscar”

This is something he just uttered in the Kentucky/Baylor game.  In another attempt at cute he comes up with this as a colloquialism for the Player Of The Year award.  This is simply an insult to the player that wins it, and the great Oscar Robertson, for whom it’s named.  Just plain stupid.  And it drew guffaws from…

4. Clark Kellogg

Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh... Nice one Jim.

Granted, Kellogg is a (slight) improvement from the ACC loving blowhard Billy Packer — but only marginally.  His insight is consistently a day late and a dollar short.  But worse — he enables Nantz like a sloppy drinking buddy, reinforcing his garbage with back slaps and phony laughter.  And he never corrects him when he’s wrong.  Get with it Kellogg, or you and Packer will be calling the eighth grade B team before too long.

Am I too harsh?  I don’t think so.  Listen to Nantz covering ANY sport and you’ll see what I mean.  Even during the slow moving and terminally boring golf broadcasts — Nantz manages to take it several notches below banal.

So listen closely… When Nantz isn’t blowing hot air into his oversized microphone, he still makes a sound.  It’s the one mentioned in the title of this post.