4 Reasons Men Should Never Wear Capri Pants

I don’t like to name call.  I am a firm believer in the age old ideology that you reap what you sow.  I refrain from it most of the time.  Except in this post.

However, there is one trend that I thought would be a mere blip on the current cultural radar that beyond baffling reasoning, doesn’t seem to be fading away.  And that is… Capri “pants”.

Therefore, I can no longer sit idly by and say nothing.  If I can aid or speed the (hopefully) inevitable demise of men in Capri pants, I will.  So I will resort to something that I do not like to do.

If you wear Capri Pants, you’re a douche.  Here’s 4 reasons why:

1.  They’re for women (maybe)

Just look at the picture here.  How does she look?  Not good.

Now you put them on.

These pants are even difficult for normally shaped women to pull off.  They’re uber feminine, and, as you can see here, they don’t even look good on the gender that they were made for.  Stay away.

2.  Ashton wears them

Sure, you might covet his lifestyle.  Or his bank account.  But do you really want his fashion sense?  How about being perceived like he is?  Pass and double pass.  See below.

Are you f*&#ng kidding me.

Nice “pants”.

3.  Everyone is going to question everything

See for yourself.

Cute. Very cute.

Sir, please turn around, go back in that dressing room, and put anything else on.  Anything.  Else.  Even jorts.

4. You will regret it dearly later

I can guarantee this guy, whomever he is, will look back on this era in his life as the worst.  He might have to actually serve in the military — the inspiration for the color and design of these particular Capri pants — and it will seem like a walk in the park compare to his remembrance of the day he paid for, and wore these Capri pants.

Sandals working too there, brah.

Capri pants.  Don’t.  Ever.  Do it.  That is all.